I don’t understand people who wear their mental illness as a badge of some form of weird pride. I mean, I understand feeling different, and being intelligent, and seeing and experiencing things the average person doesn’t necessarily experience. I get very frustrated with my disorder sometimes because I think it gets in my way.
I just don’t generally think of my life or my experiences of it as necessarily that unusual or special, mainly because I don’t have a tendency to necessarily think I’m that special. It’s not that I don’t value myself, as I’ve been getting much better about that through reading Seth. It’s just that I don’t really place myself ‘above’ or in a position as ‘different’ than other people in my mind. I just think we’re all human, and we’re all different.
To be honest, the classes are good because they make me accomplish things, I have a total commitment to them. But at the same time, because there’s deadlines and such, I feel like I don’t have time. I feel like I’m always losing time.
I want to do things. I want to do amazing things.
I just don’t know what they are.
Oh my god, six days went by! How the heck did that happen? I got sick these last six days so that was part of it. One day I woke up at three in the afternoon, which is pretty intense for me (though not as intense as it has been before). My sinuses were clogged, and I thought it was a sinus infection, so I went to the Little Clinic.